MI3 Sucked

I’ve just returned from seeing Mission Impossible III, and it sucked. Actually the move would have been great had I cared whether Tom Cruise and his wife lived or died. I mean the guy was sliding down the roof of a building and I thought to myself, “Wouldn’t it be great if he fell to his death right here and Ving Rhames ends up taking over to save his wife. Then they could have lots and lots of little vings running around at the end of the movie.”

So I’ve decided to come up with a list of folks that could have done a better job playing Ethan Hunt than Tom Cruise.

Alan Rickman

Ben Miles

Bradley Cooper

Cary Elwes

Christopher Eccleston

Ewan McGregor

Heath Ledger

Hugh Jackman

Jamie Bamber

John Glover

John Schneider

Justin Bartha

Liam Neeson

Malcolm McDowell

Martin Freeman

Matt Damon

Matthew McConaughey

Michael Rosenbaum

Ray Park

Tom Welling

Val Kilmer

Vin Diesel

God: “John Lithgow.”

Saint Garion: “What!?”

God: “Believe in me, that guy would have been fantastic.”